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Jun 9

http://www.hotdesivideo.com/blog/?p=16494

June 4th, 2010 admin
Several weeks ago, I went out to dinner with a female friend. During
dinner I asked her if she had seen Brokeback Mountain yet. She said,
“No, I have no desire to see two men kissing all over each other.” I
asked her if she would be willing to do me a favor and see the movie
anyway. I told her I had a theory and I wanted to see if I was right
about something, so she agreed. We met for lunch after she went to see
the movie. I asked her what she thought – it turns out that she loved
it. I asked her if she was turned off or disgusted by any of the
sexual scenes; she said, “No, surprisingly enough, I wasn’t turned off
by them at all.” I decided to take it a step further. I asked her if
she was turned on by any of the scenes in the movie. Her face turned
red and she said, “I have no idea why, but yes, I was turned on by
them.” This isn’t the first time I’ve heard a woman say that after
having seen the movie. I think I know why women are finding the sexual
scenes in Brokeback Mountain so arousing, but before I explain, let me
digress just a little.

During an interview a radio talk show host brought up the fact that
females aren’t as visual as males. She said that was the reason there
aren’t nearly as many male strip clubs as there are female strip
clubs. As I discussed in Women’s Infidelity, the word “more” creates a
lot of confusion between the sexes. Whenever it has been determined
that one sex is “more” of anything, we fail to remember that the other
sex still has that trait, only to a lesser degree. For example, males
have more hair than females, but that doesn’t mean that females don’t
have hair. Males like more sexual variety than females, but that
doesn’t mean females don’t like sexual variety. Likewise, males may be
more visual than females, but that in no way means that females aren’t
visual. Having said that, I would like to address not only how women
feel about watching men have sex, but also how women feel about male
strip clubs as well as male prostitution.

Heterosexual females are attracted to masculinity. Women don’t get
turned on by watching men act like women. So, going to a strip club
and watching men dance around in what can best be described as bikini
panties is not a turn on for most females. If you want women to pay to
see men, then build a bar with a glass front on a construction site
and you’ll make a fortune. The female animal likes to watch physically
fit men work. If men want to get women’s attention, all they have to
do is take off their shirts and lift something heavy or pick up a
shovel and start digging a hole. Trust me, men would receive the same
kind of attention that they normally give to partially exposed, pushed-
up breasts.

This explains my friend’s arousal during the sexual scenes in
Brokeback Mountain – the sexual scenes were extremely masculine. The
men weren’t caressing and cuddling with each other; the love scenes
were very passionate and aggressive. Passion and aggression are what
arouse the female animal.

Now, on to the issue of male prostitution, someone just recently asked
me, “If women like sex as much as men, why aren’t there more male
prostitutes running around?” Well, I can think of several reasons.
First of all, until recently, women didn’t have any money, so
obviously paying for sex wasn’t an option. Likewise, females
experiencing pleasure from sex is also something that is relatively
new. Prior to 60-65 years ago sex was only thought of as pleasurable
for males; therefore was no information available about how to please
women sexually. Plus, when females did experience sexual pleasure they
were encouraged to hide their pleasure from their partners in order to
make the men feel more secure. However, those reasons aside, there’s
still the undeniable fact that a male has a hard time pleasing just
one female, while a female has the ability to please many males…
although now, Viagra may help to alleviate this problem. (For further
explanation see Women’s Infidelity, Chapter 6: Why Women Find Affair
Sex Particularly Appealing.)

Therefore, in the past, circumstances were such that male prostitution
couldn’t even be a plausible fantasy, much less a reality. Men like
porn because it is made to appeal to their desires and fantasies. Now
that women have economic freedom for the first time in history, they
are able to voice their desires – more and more it’s becoming clear
that who they are and what they desire is quite different from who
they were forced to be in the past.

Mar 1

By Steve Williams
On Friday, lawyers in the Perry v. Schwarzenegger Proposition 8 trial submitted their case summaries as per Judge Vaughn Walker’s request. Both sides are said to have included their most hard-hitting points, including a claim from the Proposition 8 defense that bisexuals in particular constitute a threat to marriage.

Firstly, for the plaintiffs seeking to overturn Proposition 8, California’s 2008 gay marriage ban, lawyers David Boies and Theodore Olson submitted a document in excess of 290 pages, aiming to prove that Proposition 8 is unconstitutional. From the American Foundation for Equal Rights:

“This 294-page filing is only a summary of the overwhelming evidence against Proposition 8,” said Chad Griffin, Board President of the American Foundation for Equal Rights. “The evidence proves beyond a doubt that Proposition 8, which separates Americans into unequal groups, violates the U.S. Constitution and causes incredible harm to individuals and our nation as a whole.”

The document outlines the following as the core of the plaintiff’s case:

Prop. 8 does irreparable harm to Americans
Marriage has shed discriminatory restrictions over time
Gay men and lesbians are entitled to the full protection of the 14th Amendment
There is no good reason for Prop. 8’s denial of fundamental civil rights

The summary also points out the unequal weight of testimony provided in the case. The plaintiffs in the Perry v. Schwarzenegger trial called on 16 witnesses (including Paul Katami & Jeff Zarrillo and Kris Perry & Sandy Stier, the couples who filed the original lawsuit) whereas the defendant-intervenors Protect Marriage were only able to present two witnesses after their other four dropped out ahead of the trail, claiming that they were likely to face intimidation for their stance against gay marriage.

According to the American Foundation for Equal Rights, the summary presented by the plaintiffs also points to the fact that, during several occasions during the trial, the two remaining defense witnesses - both of whom had their status as “experts” put in question - appeared to make the case for marriage equality in spite of their apparent stance against it:

In addition to outlining the evidence presented by Olson and Boies, the document outlines the devastating admissions made by the defendant-intervenors’ witnesses that further proved our case and undermined the Proponents’; those witnesses’ lack of credentials; and evidence on the utilization of messages of pedophilia, polygamy, incest and bestiality in support of Prop. 8.

You can access the full document by going here.

Like so much of the pro-Proposition 8 side’s material, tracking down a copy of their summary for public viewing is proving difficult (if you have come across the text, please let me know).

However, reports suggest that the pro-Prop. 8 side have not included much of their witness testimony in their summary, at least not for supporting their central argument, and have instead cited research documents that, they assert, prove that “extending marriage to same-sex couples would result in a profound change to the definition, structure, and public meaning of marriage.”

However, calling on the testimony of Professor Miller, their first witness, they advance that lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people do not constitute a protected class worthy of judicial intervention, and that LGBTs have political allies and sufficient political power so as not to be classed as a vulnerable group.

Using their other witness testimony provided by David Blankenhorn, the pro-Prop. 8 side are said to have reinforced that marriage hinges on gender roles of “maleness and femaleness” and that procreation is a key element to marriage. Therein, they argue that child rearing is best served by the heteronormative family unit and that this fact means that marriage must, by necessity, exclude same-sex couples.

Perhaps one of their most startling maneuvers in the defense’s summary is where they are reported to have singled out bisexual people as one of the reasons to deny same-sex couples marriage rights:

The potential harms they cited included giving bisexuals a legal basis for pursuing group marriages and unmarried fathers an incentive to abandon their children.

While a copy of the summary text itself has not been forthcoming, text from the defendant-intervenors’ original trial brief also includes this argument:

[Allowing same-sex marriage would] increase the likelihood that bisexual orientation could become a legitimate grounding for a legal entitlement to group marriage.

They did not stress this point in the trial any more than the rest of their slippery slope polygamy arguments, but it is interesting that they have returned to it here.

Under California law, “Only the marriage of a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California” as per Proposition 8 and this, the defense say, guards against the much maligned “group marriage.”

The argument goes that, should same-sex marriage be legalized once again in California, there would be a potential legal basis for a bisexual person to seek recognition for a marriage to both a male and female spouse (one man and one woman) at the same time, leading to a multi-partner marriage.

As far as I can see it, this argument is flawed as California marriage laws clearly state that you can’t enter into marriage while still married to another adult. From the California Department of Public Health website:

“To marry in California, the two parties may not be already married to each other or other individuals.”

Amending civil marriage laws to include same-sex partners does not overturn this aspect of the family code.

However, the defense appear to be arguing that once you grant equal access to marriage for same-sex couples, the next logical and inevitable step is granting multi-partner marriage, and that bisexuals would be the gateway for this.

This relies on the assumption that a bisexual would want more than one spouse because of their attraction to both sexes, and seems to infer that bisexuals are less capable of monogamy than heterosexuals, which is actually broadly offensive and blurs the line between sexuality and the useful social convention of monogamy to an extreme.

It will be interesting to see if the pro-Proposition 8 side revisit this argument as part of their closing statement, which, although as yet unscheduled, is likely to be heard in the next few months.

Go to Website

Sep 25

By Erin Donnelly

Being an oral goddess may not be your top priority, but it’s a pretty handy (or, er, mouthy) skill to have. After all, who doesn’t want to be the kind of gal whose mere memory can bring a wistful smile to any ex’s face? And if that doesn’t convince you to upgrade your oral game, consider the benefits of potential reciprocity.

Check out these expert tips from research sexologist, sex journalist, Lemondrop contributor and “The Sex Bible” author Susan Crain Bakos. Going dowwwwwwwwwwn …

Putting On the Condom
If this isn’t your long-term guy, he should be wearing a condom. And while he can probably put it on with his eyes closed it’s sexier if you do it … with your mouth.

Bakos advises rubbing a small amount of lubricant onto him before putting a non-lubricated condom, tip facing in, in your mouth with the the ring in front of your teeth. Use your tongue to keep the tip in place against the roof of your mouth as you lower your head and use your lips to gently unroll the condom down the shaft.

The Lead-Up
Kiss and lick his inner thighs while you tease his testicles — lightly scratch, pull, roll them around, and pull them one at a time in your mouth. While you’re attending to his balls, run your fingers up and down his shaft.

“Once he’s erect, get comfortable, either kneeling beside him, between his legs or perpendicular to his body. Or bring him to the edge of the bed and kneel on the floor. Wet your lips and be sure that your lips cover your teeth. Run your tongue around the head of his penis to moisten it.”

The Basics
“Hold the base of his penis firmly in one hand,” Bakos continues. “With the other hand, form a circle of your thumb and forefinger–what sex expert Lou Paget calls ‘the ring and the seal’–to prevent him from going in further than you would like. Twist that hand along the shaft as you move your mouth up and down.”

The Extras
Bakos recommends swirling your tongue around the head, then working it in long strokes up and down the shaft. Lick along the ridge of the corona (the ridge connecting head and shaft) while working the shaft with your hands.

“Strum the frenulum (the elastic band of tissue on the underside of the shaft) with your tongue, then lick the raphe (the seam on the underside of the shaft, continuing into the scrotum). Do at least 10 or 20 seconds of this showy move: Repeatedly pull his penis into your mouth, then push it out, using suction, while keeping that tongue in motion.

Bakos also recommends making eye contact from time to time, which will help you connect with your partner.

Rein in Your Reflex
Is he packing more heat than your sensitive gag reflex can handle? “Concentrate attention during fellatio on the head of his penis and the first third of the shaft,” Bakos says. “Focus on his perineum (the spot between his butt and balls), and he won’t notice or care that you don’t take the entire shaft into your mouth. Plus, Lou’s ring and seal trick fools him into thinking you are taking in more than you are.”

Time It Right
Some days, a blow job is just an amuse bouche to warm him up for intercourse. “Follow his lead if he pulls back from stimulation,” Bakos says. “He knows his body. Put his hand on your vagina and let him stimulate you until his excitement subsides a bit.”

Of course, sometimes you want him to get off. To ensure a powerful climax, Bakos suggests applying light pressure to his perineum using your thumb or finger.

“And if you want to give him something really special when he’s near ejaculation” she says, “Take his pelvis in both hands and rock him toward you so that he goes deeper into your mouth.”

To Spit or Swallow?
Whether you swallow is a personal choice. Bakos recommends swallowing as it makes “a man feel totally accepted and loved.”

The simplest posture for this, Bakos says, is lying back with your head off the bed. “Your mouth and throat will form a smooth line. Have him straddle your face for the elegant finish to a perfect blow job.”

If you don’t want to swallow, you can have him leave the condom on as he ejaculates, or suggest that he finish on your breasts.

Bouncing Back From a No-Go
Let’s say you’ve followed these tips and he’s still not coming. Don’t take it personally, and don’t beat a dead horse (or a limp noodle). “Sometimes the world’s greatest blow job won’t get him up or keep him there. If he’s been drinking heavily, is on medication, or ejaculated 10 minutes ago, give your mouth a rest and put his into action. Maybe it’s your turn today, not his.” Well, if you insist …

Getting Yours
Once you’ve got the basics committed to muscle memory, you can put more of your attention to getting off while you’re giving head? Really!

Tell Us: What’s your slam-dunk blow job move?

Tags: oral sex - OralSex - perfect blow job - PerfectBlowJob - sex - sex bible - sex tips - SexTips - susan bakos - susan crain bakos - SusanCrainBakos

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