May 12

by Hardy Haberman | May 9, 2012
(Go to the Bottom of page for Mistress Eva’s Comment!)

What happens when you invite a TV reporter to a dungeon play party? You end up on TV and in the middle of a real media circus.

In Detroit, a reporter for the NBC affiliate, WDIV got invited to a local play party as he was investigating a murder. The suspect in the case was a participant in the BDSM community, but the murder was not BDSM related and in fact may be a murder for hire committed by a third party. The story is still developing, but the damage to the local BDSM scene has already happened.

The report which played last night on Detroit TV had little to do with the murder or the suspect other than to lean heavily on his involvement with BDSM. The majority of the piece was blurry video with lurid descriptions of the activities that take place at the party. Now to those in the community, these are almost commonplace, but when sensationalized, and in this case really sensationalized it seems dangerous and scary, especially to vanilla folk.

To make things worse the report gave the address of the party, a local VFW hall. All the footage of the event was shot with a hidden camera, so the participants did not know they were being filmed. Luckily the TV station blurred out all the faces but to the participants it must have felt like a violation of their privacy, and it was just that.

The report added no new information to the story of the suspect murder and was designed specifically to scare people with the “debauchery” going on in the peaceful suburban neighborhood. Never mind the fact that this party has been happening on a regular basis for a long time with no complaints, it is great stuff for ratings and TV news is all about ratings.

Now lots of people who attended that party are frightened, perhaps more than the viewers who saw the shadowy figures and blurred video on TV. They are afraid of being “outed” as kinky. Sadly in this country “kinky” is not a protected class and often people lose their families and jobs by being exposed.

The fears of the BDSM community in Detroit may be unfounded, but the hubbub this incident has caused should give people a few valuable lessons. If you are not “out” as kinky, then you need to make sure any event you attend is really a private party. That means invited folk only and/or all participants have signed some sort of release that assures they are not offended by the activities taking place and agree not to photograph or reveal names and identities of any other attendees. These are pretty standard at most play parties, but apparently in Detroit they were not used.

Secondly, do not invite the press to a play party! News folk look for sensational images, specifically TV journalists and whips and crosses make for sensational images, even if the reality of a play party is far from the imagined images vanilla people might have in their minds. Additionally, once the press splashes something like this all over peoples TV screens, some folks will complain to local authorities and next thing you know, the police are visiting any event that looks remotely out of the norm. In most cases what we do in a dungeon might not be illegal, but police will arrest first and ask questions later. I would not be surprised if a wave of “vice” operations followed closely on the heels of this report in Detroit.

The unintended consequences of this might be very severe for some people and that is what makes this even worse.

Now, to be honest, most cities have some kind of BDSM activity going on, and the police and authorities are not blind to it. I have spoken with law enforcement people about this and to a great extent their attitude is, if no one is getting hurt and there is not any prostitution going on they have bigger fish to fry. The difference in Detroit may be the murder investigation and just how much involvement BDSM may play in the crime. My suspicion is it is completely tangential, but that is for the police and courts to find out.

Meanwhile, kinky folk in Detroit should take a deep breath and then use some common sense next time they get an inquiry from a reporter about attending a party.

We don’t want to scare the Muggles!

http://www.woodhullalliance.org/2012/sex-and-politics/detroit-dungeon-party-taped-on-hidden-camera-by-tv-station/

Mistress Eva: I am on a BDSM/Fetish Social Network called Fetlife.com and this incident has spread through the site like wild fire. When you go to a public Dungeon party, you are trusting the venue to be discreet. You are trusting the other kinky people there to keep the location and going ons secret. Most of the time it works.

A local Dungeon near me does not allow cellphones or cameras inside the premises for this very reason. If a camera is used, there are rules about only showing the folks who want the picture taken. You must get permission from the owners of the Dungeon. Usually the Dungeon owner takes the photo too. They want you to feel safe and comfortable enough to play and have a good time.

First of all, the Owners of the Dungeon who gave the reporter permission to be there was out of their mind! Did they really think they would produce a fair story in the Dungeon’s favor? Reporters are always looking for a story with shock value and this reporter got it! They got this juicy video and ran with it.

I truly feel sorry for the Dungeon and the people filmed. Yes their faces were altered but their tattoos weren’t. People in their local scene could still recognize people in the video. So they were still outed. Also the address of the Dungeon was posted too. I have since heard that they closed the Dungeon. Some folks filmed have dropped out of the scene. Its just really sad.

So in the future, I will only be going to Dungeons who require no cameras or cell phones. Also ones who NEVER invite the media. Its just never a good idea!

May 11

Researched by Christa Sgobba, Illustrations by Noma Bar

Most porn films may be shot in the L.A. area, but their biggest audience is in Orlando. We know what you're thinking: How can the home of G-rated theme parks be skin-flick central? It seems that while tourists line up at a kid-friendly fantasy world, the locals prefer one in which Snow White and the dwarfs whistle while they... well, you know.

We peered through a statistical peephole to tabulate the following criteria: the number of DVDs purchased, rented, or streamed (AdultDVDEmpire.com); adult entertainment stores per city (StorErotica.net); rate of porn searches (Google Insights); and the percentage of households who subscribe to a cable channel that shows soft-core porn (SimplyMap). Not only were Orlando folks the randiest residents, but Florida was also the most salacious state.

Love to Look

1. Orlando, FL
2. Las Vegas, NV
3. Wilmington, DE
4. Raleigh, NC
5. Charlotte, NC
6. Minneapolis, MN
7. Atlanta, GA
8. Tampa, FL
9. Anchorage, AK
10. Austin, TX

11. Boise, ID
12. Miami, FL
13. Houston, TX
14. Columbia, SC
15. Dallas, TX
16. Portland, OR
17. San Diego, CA
18. Cleveland, OH
19. Sacramento, CA
20. Baltimore, MD

21. Providence, RI
22. Durham, NC
23. San Francisco, CA
24. Wichita, KS
25. Columbus, OH
26. Plano, TX
27. Manchester, NH
28. Jersey City, NJ
29. St. Paul, MN
30. Madison, WI

31. Cheyenne, WY
32. Denver, CO
33. Chicago, IL
34. Philadelphia, PA
35. Rochester, NY
36. Tucson, AZ
37. Reno, NV
38. Riverside, CA
39. Bakersfield, CA
40. New Orleans, LA

41. Omaha, NE
42. Seattle, WA
43. Milwaukee, WI
44. Greensboro, NC
45. Fort Worth, TX
46. Oklahoma City, OK
47. Pittsburgh, PA
48. Colorado Springs, CO
49. Nashville, TN
50. Phoenix, AZ

51. Honolulu, HI
52. Jacksonville, FL
53. Anaheim, CA
54. Tulsa, OK
55. Aurora, CO
56. Lexington, KY
57. Bridgeport, CT
58. Buffalo, NY
59. Portland, ME
60. St. Petersburg, FL

61. San Jose, CA
62. Billings, MT
63. Virginia Beach, VA
64. Albuquerque, NM
65. St. Louis, MO
66. Kansas City, MO
67. Fresno, CA
68. Sioux Falls, SD
69. Los Angeles, CA
70. Louisville, KY

71. Salt Lake City, UT
72. Stockton, CA
73. San Antonio, TX
74. Little Rock, AR
75. Memphis, TN
76. New York, NY
77. Corpus Christi, TX
78. Indianapolis, IN
79. Oakland, CA
80. Washington, DC

81. Cincinnati, OH
82. Birmingham, AL
83. Boston, MA
84. Burlington, VT
85. Des Moines, IA
86. Detroit, MI
87. Fort Wayne, IN
88. Chesapeake, VA
89. Newark, NJ
90. El Paso, TX

Avert Their Eyes

91. Norfolk, VA
92. Fargo, ND
93. Lincoln, NE
94. Toledo, OH
95. Laredo, TX
96. Lubbock, TX
97. Charleston, WV
98. Winston-Salem, NC
99. Baton Rouge, LA
100. Jackson, MS
Access Denied

Thanks to high-speed Internet, a pornucopia of X-rated flicks is a few clicks away—unless your city is listed here with an asterisk. These places fall into Adult DVD Empire's no-stream category, a restriction companies put in place to avoid being charged with violating community standards. But these standards were meant for mail-order porn, says obscenity law attorney Jeffrey J. Douglas, and shouldn't apply online. Petition your politicians to stop the Net-nannying.
Smutphone

Kids' peeking at Dad's porn stash is so last century. In a U.K. survey, one in four boys (and one in five girls) reported viewing adult-only sites on their phones. Shield your child's eyes with the Mobicip Safe Browser app (mobicip.com, $5, Android or iOS). It uses age-based filtering to block sites and is recommended by the Parents' Choice Foundation.

Read more at Men's Health: http://www.menshealth.com/health/smut-census#ixzz1ubFUIONR

Mistress Eva: Note that Charlotte and Durham NC are in the Top 25!
Maybe because North Carolina is so sexually repressed so its poor men have to look at porn privately in their homes?

May 11

I think its very pathetic when complete strangers can decide who I marry. This world need healing and all the love than it can get. This just made me angry and sad. I voted against this along with a bunch of kinky folk in the NC BDSM scene.

Tonight President Obama said he was in favor of Gay Marriage. I wish he had announced this BEFORE the North Carolina election!

Mistress Eva

May 5

http://www.photohostess.com/files/ii7l6xzkj8nt3emtmd5q.jpg

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http://www.photohostess.com/files/d5773r92qm7zleyxwwx0.jpg

Oct 12

Its been a while since I have posted a Blog here. I have been crazy busy but in a great way! My Professional Domination and Phone Domination Businesses are doing great! I have to thank all my wonderful submissives for such a grand time!

Fall is here and my favorite Holiday is right around the Corner! No its not Christmas, its Halloween! I love the Costumes, The Outdoor Decorations and all the Horror Movies! Plus I cannot lie, I like dressing up in my Witchy best and giving kids Candy! Then I shut the doors and do my own Rituals. Yes, I am a real Wiccan Witch!

I will also have a “Dumb Dinner” to honor the passing of my Grandmother. Its a custom of making a seat for your dearly departed at the dinner table and fixing them a plate of food. Dinner is ate in silence to honor the dead. I have done this for the last two years.

This Halloween is going to be even more special. The weekend before I am seeing Leg slave david and he is taking me on a shopping trip to Saks and Nordstrom! This will be special for Leg slave david too because he will be close to a month of Orgasm Control by then! It will be a blast!

I am currently available most evenings after 6:00 PM for Live Sessions. I am very much a night owl so I love playing at night. If I am free nights, I am usually available for Phone Domination calls!

MISTRESS EVA LORDES
www.MistressEvaLordes.com
www.DommeEmpire.com

Jul 20

From: “Woodhull’s Sexual Freedom eNews”
Date: July 19, 2011 7:14:38 AM EDT
To: Newslist
Subject: [wff-newslist] NIH-backed study examined effects of penis size in gay community
Reply-To: wff-newslist@lists.wff-lists.org

NIH-Backed Study Examined Effects of Penis Size in Gay Community

By Judson Berger

Published July 18, 2011 | FoxNews.com

The federal government helped fund a study that examined what effect a gay man’s penis size has on his sex life and general well-being.

The study was among several backed by the National Institutes of Health that have come under scrutiny from a group claiming the agency is wasting valuable tax dollars at a time when the country is trying to control its debt. This particular research resulted in a 2009 report titled, “The Association Between Penis Size and Sexual Health Among Men Who Have Sex with Men.”

The study reported, among its findings, that gay men with “below average penises” were more likely to assume a “bottom” sexual position, while those with “above average penises” were more likely to assume a “top” sexual position. Those with average penises identified themselves as “versatile” in the bedroom.

Though it’s difficult to trace exactly how much federal funding went to the project, the study was one of many linked to an $899,769 grant in 2006. The grant was administered by NIH’s National Institute on Drug Abuse, and went first to a group called Public Health Solutions and a researcher with the National Development and Research Institutes before going to individual researchers.

Those researchers then compiled data from a survey of more than 1,000 gay and bisexual men at events in New York City for the gay community.

“This country is broke and we cannot spend money on this kind of stuff,” said Andrea Lafferty, president of the Traditional Values Coalition, which drew attention to the report as part of a six-month investigation into NIH grants for examples of “institutional waste.”

“We’re spending money on wacky stuff,” Lafferty said.

But one of the researchers involved with the report told FoxNews.com that NIH funding was only used to help “analyze and write up” data that had already been collected without the use of taxpayer funds.

“The data were not collected using taxpayer funds,” Jeffrey Parsons, a professor with Hunter College, said in an email. “NIH funds were not used to measure anyone’s penis size.”

He said part of the 2006 grant went toward the primary author’s post-survey analysis as part of his postdoctoral fellowship to “better inform sexual health promotion efforts.”

Read more: http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2011/07/18/nih-backed-study-examined-effects-penis-size-in-gay-community/#ixzz1SUqvPubt

Full article at: http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2011/07/18/nih-backed-study-examined-effects-penis-size-in-gay-community/
Read the latest news at Woodhull Sexual Freedom Alliance

Follow us on Twitter: @WoodhullSFA

Friend us on Facebook: Woodhull Sexual Freedom Alliance
_____________________________________________________________________

I personally hate when huge amounts of money are used to fund the study of the obvious. This is one of those cases. I am a Bi-Sexual Female and I even knew this! Look, penis sizes matters no matter what your sexual orientation is. It just does. If my girlfriend is going to fuck me with a strap on, do you think I would want 5 inches or 10 inches? You’re damn right! Ten inches baby! When I am using a strapon on a newbie, I go small and work him up to a 10 incher! Why? Because it feels good that way! Yes, big cocks look more powerful too! Plus they usually ejaculate more too. There is something down right primal about it. So let’s just say it, “SIZE DOES MATTER!”

Mistress Eva

Jul 20

Dr. Peggy Drexler. Author, ‘Our Fathers Ourselves. Daughters, Fathers, And The Changing American Family’

Every study, it seems, brings another assault on the masculinity of the American man.

As I read about how men are thinking more like women, and women are filling the space vacated by declining masculinity, I have to wonder: Is it a shift in gender roles, or an easing of expectations?

In other words are we seeing men and women as they always were, but were never allowed to be?

Those in the men-are-the-new-women camp point to what they see as troubling evidence. Early this year there was much buzz in the halls of gender behavior when a study of 5,000 American adults found that more men are interested in attachment and commitment, while more women wanted to preserve some of their independence in a relationship.

There were other findings that sounded alarms about the manliness of men. Half of single men 21 to 35 wanted kids, where for women in that age group, the number was 46 percent — not exactly a statistical landslide, but apparently troubling none-the-less.

Adding circumstantial evidence of de-masculation is the growth of men’s cosmetics, waxing, and fashion. Now this: SPANX, a company founded to fight panty lines, tummy bulge and bra fat — reports that one of their hottest new products last year was SPANX for men.

There is more. But across all of it, interpretations range from interested observation to predictions of the matriarchical decline experienced by civilizations past. But at the core: there is the fear that America is becoming a less manly place. I heard nothing, for example, about the hard-nosed warriors in the U.S. women’s soccer team that spoke to bad things happening to females.

But as we pine for the macho man and alpha male, let’s also look at some additional evidence of the changing American man.

Dr. Warren Farrell, the author of the book Father and Child Reunion, points to the growing desire of dads to be a bigger part of their children’s lives. This new paternal involvement, he writes, “is to the twenty-first century what women’s desire to be in the workplace was to the twentieth century.”

A 2007 survey by the employment website Monster.com found that 70 percent of fathers would consider being a stay at home parent if money were no object. Almost 50 percent of dads of school aged children took paternity leave when their employer offered it.

The evidence is also accumulating in smaller increments. Men are free to hug more, they help with homework, they listen more, and — especially with daughters — are part of their lives in ways long denied to fathers of earlier generations. Is it feminization that has brought fathers so far from the distant, silent providers of the past?

Pick any organization, and you’ll find awareness, backed by shifts in culture, that the days of the my-way-or-the-highway manager are past. Is it feminization to realize that leadership by brute force of title must be replaced by the so-called “soft skills” of communication, cooperation and engagement?

While some wail over the declining state of manhood implied by the statistics, there is also the very real possibility that men are evolving from swaggering through life in some cartoon interpretation of what men are supposed to be — to becoming more fully-formed human beings free to find out what they can be.

So here is the question: are men less masculine, or more liberated? Are they being feminized, or humanized?

________________________________________________________

So are men becoming more sensitive, humanized or feminized? Every man has his own story. I will not lump all men into one happy package. What I can comment on is how many requests I* get for Feminization Sessions. I have certainly seen a increased interest in Feminization. Also the Bulk of the callers I get on Niteflirt are into Feminization, Cuckolding and Small Penis Humiliation. I find that many men are realizing that they do not want to be the sterotypical “real man” anymore. Many men I talk to would rather Worship a Strong Dominant Woman.

I do not know if this makes them weaker or maybe in fact stronger and more couragous. It takes balls to go against the customs and peer pressure of modern society. It takes strength to be emotionally available.

So what do you think?

Mistress Eva

Jul 9

My Leg slave david has spoiled me!

I have a PES Electrical Power Box already. Yesterday I got:

http://male.stockroom.com/PES-Scrotum-Electrode-P2605.aspx

http://male.stockroom.com/PES-Prostate-Stimulator-Electrode-P2485.aspx

http://male.stockroom.com/PES-Deep-Throat-P2078.aspx

http://male.stockroom.com/PES-Corona-Stimulator-wFocusing-Pods-P2070.aspx

http://male.stockroom.com/PES-Tubular-Mid-Ring-Electrode-P2074.aspx

I also have a Violet Wand on the way! It can safely be used on the nipples!
http://buy.violetwands.net/view.php?v=x-wands-violet-wand

We also back ordered some Toys just for David!

I also got a cage! It even has a slot to put food into the cage!

http://male.stockroom.com/common/images/products/D829/D829.jpg

So many new things to explore with me! Email me and Book a Session today!

MISTRESS EVA LORDES
slaveheartquest@aol.com
www.MistressEvaLordes.com

Jun 14

http://www.photohostess.com/files/rzc3j5p8cn7sg7kuy5fk.jpg

Sorry I could not resist this! Makes me laugh every time!

MISTRESS EVA
1-800-TO-FLIRT Extension: 9439-577

Apr 23

by Rachel Rabbit White
https://www.edenfantasys.com/Images/Repository/4/5/3275.jpg

Meet your newest porn-crush. Danny Wylde has a blog in which it’s all too easy to lose hours while engrossed in his writing. He writes honestly and articulately about what he does for a living: starring in porn. Danny’s been in mainstream adult films, was around for the heyday of alt porn and often stars in feminist films. Through it all, he has quite a following among female fans of porn.
Here Danny opens up for the Man Project to talk about male bisexual stigma in porn, explore what is missing about the male experience when we discuss porn and how women just might be changing the face of porn forever.

One of the reasons the Man Project started was because in sex positivity, women’s voices really seem to reign. Does this play out in porn too?

The first director I ever worked for was a woman. It was a BDSM scenario. And I don’t think it was marketed as “sex positive,” but it was a very positive experience for me. Since then, I’ve worked for directors such as Madison Young, Tristan Taormino, and Carol Queen — all of whom seem to make porn that can be categorized as feminist and/or sex positive.

In my opinion, most porn is not based on degradation. But historically speaking, it seems to be an industry dominated by men. So for the sake of equal representation, which I believe is a fundamental aspect of feminism (and therefore suggests “positivity”), I think it’s entirely necessary that this brand of porn exist.

What is missing from the discussion about male sexuality in porn?

There has been so much discussion over how women are treated, or how women feel when they perform in pornographic scenes. But heterosexual men seem to have been left out of this discussion. Maybe even gay men too.

“How do male performers feel about performing in sex scenes?” It’s not a question often asked. I think it’s just assumed we want to fuck anything that’s put in front of us. I assure you that’s not the case.

There are a lot of girl-on-girl scenes in the straight porn world, but not guy-on-guy. A lot of straight porn doesn’t even let the lens linger on the guy…why is this?
Obviously, female bisexuality is widely embraced in porn. Most female performers are willing to perform in “lesbian” scenes whether or not they’re actually attracted to women. I think because it’s a fantasy that’s acceptable to the average heterosexual male, it’s not threatening.

Homophobia (in regards to gay men) is still very prevalent in our society, and especially in the straight porn industry. Anyone who followed the aftermath of our last HIV “outbreak’ knows how many in the straight porn industry view men who engage in homosexual activity. It’s not in a positive light.

So where are the other hot guys in porn?

I actually think there are quite a few attractive guys in porn these days. The past few weeks, I’ve been on set with Kris Slater, Rocco Reed, Xander Corvus, Mick Blue, Wolf Hudson, James Deen, and Mickey Mod. And although I haven’t been on set with Chad Alva recently, we hang out on a semi-frequent basis. So, that’s at least eight guys off the top of my head that are working in the business right now. I think all of them are considered very attractive men.

So, if we aren’t watching “sex positive” porn I think there remains a fear that maybe this porn is “degrading” to performers.

It is my opinion, based on my experiences and the information I’ve gathered from others, that most porn is produced without coercion and/or inflicted harm on the performers. But there are always exceptions. And given the capacity for most any amateur videographer to shoot people having sex, there is much room for exploitation on the amateur level. There can be a steep learning curve when trying to differentiate a legitimate production from some guy with a camera in his apartment.

I am not, by any means, trying to say that all, or even most, amateur porn is bad or exploitative. But if you are buying from an established company, chances are the performers are being filtered through a system that requires them to have a very firm understanding of what is about to happen. Basically, there’s more paperwork, more waiting around on set, and more money at stake. If someone doesn’t want to be there, there are many opportunities to leave.

Can you be sex positive without liking “sex positive” porn?

I think one of my hottest scenes is in a Tristan Taormino film. But many of my favorite scenes have been in porn films that make no effort to come across as feminist or sex-positive. The director may just say, “Give me four positions and thirty minutes,” and allow us to go at it. To me, that’s often more fulfilling than being on a set with very well intentioned people who keep stopping the sex scene to implement very specific actions. I think when you start viewing pornography as something political, feminist, queer, etc… it’s easy to start thinking like, “This is the way performers have to have sex in this movie, because it needs to be different than mainstream porn.”

So yes, I think it can be both sex-positive and feminist to watch or perform in porn that does not necessarily carry those labels.

Are more women watching porn?

I actually have heard a lot from straight, female fans. One of the most fascinating things to me is how young some of them are. I think it’s actually pretty cool that younger women are able to feel so comfortable these days consuming porn.

I think some cultural barriers are just starting to fall. It’s a shame it’s taken this long, but porn is finally becoming “cool,” or at least acceptable, for women to watch — at least in some portion of the population. It probably has a lot to do with positive female sexual role models in porn. Women are sexual beings. They have just as much a right as men to express themselves. Porn should be an outlet in which to do that.

http://www.edenfantasys.com/sexis/erotica/the-man-project-danny-wylde-0411115/

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